#anyways i outed myself as a nerd just now so that's fun
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devastatinglygreen · 6 months ago
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hey, uhm, so...anyone else familiar with eros and psyche wonder just how far they're taking this metaphor for them now that cressida named them as such herself?
like, you know. that whole pesky moral of the story being that there is no love without trust and how psyche had to endure a whole lot before eros forgave her and begged for her to be saved by divine intervention?
gonna go fling myself off a cliff now that i remember psyche was usually depicted with butterfly wings as well. bye.
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wolvisms · 12 days ago
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dating a nerd was arguably one of the best decisions i’ve ever made
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snixx · 1 year ago
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slowly starting to understand the reason most people like me on a casual friend basis but never in a friend friend way is because i am kind of a huge buzzkill lol. like i hold myself to this impossible standard of altruism and guilt trip the fuck out of myself when i can't reach it and though i most definitely don't hold other people to the same standards they probably still feel kind of judged and shitty for like. enjoying themselves in indulgent ways around me. it's not like i do judge them or think they're shitty people for it but that's probably hard to believe when i would feel guilty and think that of myself if i joined in?? sort of like how people tell me they don't judge me for being fat and then shit talk their own bodies for being fat 24/7. self mutilation has collateral damage. and while i don't really think of what i do as punishing or hating myself and more like being hyperaware of the world around me in everything i do, it's the same concept. and there's nothing that can be done about that, we're just too different. and maybe that's not the worst thing. i don't need to be besties with everyone
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elegyofthemoon · 1 year ago
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heheh friends :)
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whimsyfinny · 3 months ago
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Sexy F*cking Nerd
Dean Winchester x F!Reader
Summary: When Dean discovers a little secret of (Y/n)'s during a case research session he can't help but let temptation get the best of him.
Warnings: Language, Smut, Fingering, PinV, Oral (M receiving), slight angst if you squint, Dean having a glasses kink (not really a warning but not everyone wears them hahaha lucky bastards)
MDNI! 18+
Word Count: 5688
A/N: It's taken a little while but here is the second competition winner from a few weeks back, the prompt provided by the wonderful @foxyjwls007 - I hope you like it!
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The motel room was stuffy to say the least - that usual aroma of stale cigarettes and cheap air freshener lingering around us. There was a dripping sound coming from God knows where and the AC hummed in between the concerning clinking from deep within the vents. It was crap. So crap. But it was home for a few nights; just like all the motel rooms that came before. Dean stepped past me and over the threshold, immediately slinging his duffle and jacket onto his chosen bed. He stretched his arms above his head, the grey Henley clutching his muscular abdomen and rising enough to flaunt what lay beneath. I sighed, following him in and slumping onto the bed beside his - the musty stench from the sheets enveloping me.
“Well…” Dean started, pulling Sam's laptop out of his bag and placing it on the small table by the window.
“Well…?” My voice echoed as I focused on the ceiling fan that spun off centre.
“...This is… nice?” His statement was more of a question as he looked around with raised eyebrows. I propped myself up on my elbows, flashing him a look of speculation.
“Seriously?” A moment passed before he huffed a long-held breath and slapped his large palms on his thighs.
“No of course not, this place sucks more dick than a hooker on payday.”
“You got that right,” I flopped back down onto the bed, a small dust cloud erupting under my weight. I closed my eyes and listened as Dean pulled a chair out from under the table, slumping down into it. Then there was the familiar click of the laptop opening followed by the sound of stuttered not-quite-touch-typing, presumably he was starting work on the case that we’d come here to investigate. The tap tap tap of whatever was leaking began to drill into my brain, my patience already wearing thin with the rooms dire ambiance. I pulled myself up to sitting, criss-crossing my legs on the bed and brushing whatever that dust from the bedding was off my sweater sleeves.
“When's Sam back?” I asked, watching as Dean searched the keyboard in front of him for some long lost letter.
“Uuuh, I'm not sure. He said to work this case without him.”
“Ugghhh, I bet he's having way more fun than us right now, it's not fair,” I plopped my chin into my palm and stared past the older Winchester out the window, almost willing Sam to appear and walk in like any other day.
“It's just some dumb wedding, I doubt he's having that much fun.”
I scoffed before I could stop myself, Dean breaking eye contact with the screen to throw me a raised eyebrow.
“Look,” I collected myself, “you didn't know Sam in college. He won't admit it but he was popular. Really popular. Not the total nerd you think he is. He's absolutely having fun with these people.”
“Yeah right. So who's at this wedding anyway? Why was it so important that he just had to be there?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing full well Sam had already told him all the details. Typical Dean.
“It's for a couple of friends who he and Jess were close with back then. Pretty sure the bride was prom queen in highschool or something and the groom was a trust fund jock. Either way, not my crowd,” I sighed slightly, memories from my college days flooding my mind.
Deans eyebrows twitched into a small frown, his thoughts seeming to cloud his vision for a second before he reluctantly dismissed them. I looked down into my lap for a moment, reminiscing how I always kept my distance from Sam whilst at Stanford, but he had always been that boy that would make my heart flutter when he spoke up in class or when I'd see him on the quad with his friends. I remember seeing him with his nose in a book once at my usual desk in the library, my cheeks burning when he caught me staring. Who would've thought several years down the line I'd be sat in a bottom-rung motel room with his obscenely good looking older brother researching monster lore. At least we would be researching monster lore, if it wasn't for the small growl my empty stomach had gurgled out. I couldn't stop the small pulse of embarrassment burning into my cheeks as Dean eyed me with a grin.
“Wanna get some lunch?” He asked, standing up like he already knew my answer.
“Fuck yes. I'm feeling burgers,” I shuffled to the edge of the bed and stood up, watching as Dean shrugged on his leather jacket and headed to the door, holding it open for me.
“Now you're speaking my language.”
*
The diner was almost as sad and withered as the motel room, however the food was nothing short of spectacular. I watched in awe as Dean polished off his second burger, a small glob of sauce sticking to his stubble and threatening to drip off his chin. He must've felt me watching in wonder - or perhaps disgust - as when he looked up from his plate he shot me a questioning glance.
“What?” His tone was a little defensive through the mouthful of fries he'd just shovelled in. I took a second before asking, half-genuine:
“Where do you put all of that?”
“Put what?”
“The food - where does it go? Do you have hollow legs? Two stomachs? Does it just evaporate as soon as you swallow it?”
He grinned, wiping the sauce from his face with a napkin.
“Goes straight to the abs baby. It's muscle fuel,” he leant back in his chair, stretching a little before patting his stomach to punctuate his statement. I simply rolled my eyes.
“Yeah right, you're not that muscly Dean.”
“How would you know? You've never seen me with my shirt off.”
“I know, and I plan to keep it that way.”
He feigned a pout before returning to his fries. We ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, my mind absently going back to all the lore we should be trying to gather. I gripped my milkshake that had so generously been served in a thin paper cup, attempting to suck the practically solid beverage up the equally thin paper straw. Finding the nearest library would be the next task on our to-do list, despite the protesting I know I'll get from Dean.
“Hey, (Y/n)?” My train of thought was derailed at the sound of my name. The slurping of over-thickened milkshake from myself ceased.
“What's up?”
“What were you like in college?”
I eyed him with caution, wondering what part of his brain was in control right now.
“What do you wanna know?”
Catching the wariness to divulge him to such information, he smiled slightly, shrugging his shoulders.
“I'm not asking to be weird, I just-” he paused, choosing his next words tactfully, “the way you described Sam as being a totally different person - some hot-shot with the perfect grades, popular friends and a girlfriend like Jess - it just got me thinking. How would Sam have described you?”
I almost spat my dairy-goop back into the straw, my brain freezing.
“Dean,” I started before planning what I was going to say, placing my cup on the table. “Sam wouldn't be able to describe me.”
My words brought a small smirk to his lips.
“You were that hot, huh?”
“What the fuck- no- I wasn't- he didn't- Sam never- ” I stopped myself before I had an aneurysm and took a deep breath.
“I was in a totally different crowd to Sam. He was always surrounded by people and, well, I barely even had a crowd.”
“Lone wolf?”
“Bingo. But definitely not the cool, collected, stoic type. Think more, invisible to the public eye, always carrying books, and borderline selective mute because of how shy I was.”
“Oh… what changed?,” Deans tone changed entirely, genuine intrigue seeming to take the wheel. I couldn't help but laugh slightly, remembering my method to forcing myself out of my bubble.
“The only job I could get was in a bar. No one else wanted the hours and I desperately needed cash. I didn't really have a choice after that,” I paused, remembering how terrified I was on my first day and grinned slightly, grateful for the extra confidence I had now because I took that leap.
“Hey, what sort of crowd do you think I would've been in?”
I snorted, looking up into his expectant eyes - almost captivated by the glistening greens.
“What am I? A BuzzFeed quiz? I have no idea Dean, you're too much of a wildcard to predict. You probably would've fit in with anyone and everyone.”
“Even you?”
For reasons unbeknownst to even myself, my breath caught in my throat. The sudden soft sincerity of his voice contradicting his usual temperament, my heart starting to flutter in my chest. If the college version of myself had met Dean back then I just know I would have been enthralled at first glance.
“I don't think you would've noticed me. You would've been surrounded by every tall, thin blonde and brunette with perfect tits. Trust me, you would've been distracted,” I smiled an almost sad smile at the thought of him simply being on university grounds and having the time of his life - knowing it was something that he was never going to get the chance to experience in this upside down life of his. Of ours. He tapped his fingers on the table for a second, likely lost in some ludicrous thought I don't think I'd want to be privy to. I attempted another slurp of my milkshake when the paper straw gave out and flopped in half, the need to leave conversation and the diner suddenly looming over me.
“Come on, let's get to the library before it closes,” I stood and pulled my oversized sweater down so it covered my ass before reaching for my backpack. Just as my fingers touched the worn fabric of the strap it was torn away, my head snapping up to Dean who flung it over one shoulder with his signature grin on his face.
“Lead the way nerd.”
I couldn't help but beam at his playfulness. I hated the fact that he made it so easy to adore him. Hated that he completely overlooked how I was his total opposite in almost every way. How when we were talking, his eyes never left mine - how he was genuinely interested in what I was like in the past. And how, when I had his attention, he didn't even notice that the hot waitress had written her number on a napkin and left it next to him.
*
The trip to the library was about as eventful as it sounded. After checking out multiple books on cursed items, local lore and popular antiques from the seventies, we loaded ourselves back into the impala, made an all-important beer run before heading back to the motel.
The small table by the window was now totally smothered by a blanket of books, maps and empty beer bottles. Deans chin rested in his palms as he stared blankly at the screen in front of him, and I must've read the last sentence of the paragraph laid before me a dozen times without it even sinking in. The obnoxious dripping and humming of ancient appliances was starting to make me feel restless.
“It has to be the boots,” Dean groaned, draining the last of his beer.
“Either the boots or the disco ball. But my money is on boots as well,” I sighed, pushing the book away from me and standing slowly, gathering the quickly accumulating litter now scattered around us.
“I'm gonna make some coffee, my brain is fried over how fucking ridiculous this case is,” I ditched the trash in the bin before filling the coffee machine, listening to it whir to life whilst I headed to my bed. I could feel Deans gaze on my back as I rummaged around my bag in search of a specific item.
“What are you looking fo-” he'd started to ask the question but his voice died in his throat when I turned around. I quickly pushed my newly adorned glasses up the bridge of my nose, already feeling the oversized frame start to slip down as I tried not to make a big deal over them.
“What?” My tone was a fraction off aggressive when I realised he was staring. He seemed to snap out of his daze, quickly rubbing the back of his neck and turning back to the laptop screen. He cleared his throat
“I uh, I didn't know you wore glasses,” I could tell from the slight tremble in his voice that his mind was reeling.
“Is there a problem with that?”
“No! I mean, no, absolutely not. They look good. The glasses, I mean. The glasses look good. Not on their own, obviously. On your face. They look good on your face. You have a great fa-”
“Dean?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
“Sorry.”
I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and set it on the counter, filling it to the brim with caffeinated goodness. I couldn't stop the grin spreading across my lips at Deans fumbling, almost finding the whole ordeal a little charming. I sat back down at the table and pulled the books back towards me, also grabbing my pen and tattered notebook.
“The guests at the club mentioned hearing footsteps - so it has to be the boots, right? A disco ball wouldn't make that sound…” my voice trailed off when I realised that, even though Dean was looking at me, he wasn't listening to a word I was saying.
“Earth to Dean?”
He flinched slightly at his name, but felt no shame delving in with a completely off-topic question.
“So how long have you worn glasses?”
“I’ve always worn them,” I slid back into my chair at the table opposite him, not sure whether to laugh at the shocked expression on his face or whether to be concerned about his observation skills.
“What?! No way, I would’ve noticed,” He opened another beer and took a sip before tracing the opening to the bottle over his bottom lip.
“ I only wear them for concentration work, and I have emergency contact lenses if I know I’m going to be around a lot of people as I don’t particularly like how they look.”
Dean made a small disagreeable expression before averting his gaze from mine back to the laptop, taking another swig of his beer. I placed my coffee mug down and settled back into the book I was reading before, and after a few moments I could feel my skin begin to prickle - as though I could feel a pair of eyes on me. I glanced up, my breath immediately catching in my throat. Deans eyes found mine, burning with an intensity that made my heart hammer in my chest. I didn’t want to look away, but under his gaze I felt like I’d been stripped bare, unable to hide my insecurities from an eye that seemed to scorch through to my very core.
“Dean-”
“(Y/n), you should really have more confidence in yourself; I think the glasses look cute as fuck. You should wear them more,” a fierce blush erupted across my face when he spoke, his assured tone leaving no room for disagreement. I tried desperately not to let on that his words held any sort of impact over my decisions so I looked down, away from his scrutiny and simply said:
“Maybe I will.”
He hummed in approval, finally looking elsewhere and I couldn’t stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief when the pressure of his stare was averted.
The evening dragged on and an hour and a half had passed since his loaded comment. I was on the third book we’d checked out of the library, now trying desperately to find the curse that would cause a pair of 1970s glam rock boots to dance for eternity and haunt anyone who tried to wear them. This case was absurd, and I could feel myself growing restless with the small amount of progress we’d made. I huffed out a sigh and leant back in my chair, the faux leather and rusted metal creaking under my weight. Pulling the hair bobble from around my wrist I scooped my hair into a bundle on the top of my head, securing it in place; the sensation of air on my neck seemed to clear some of the fog from my brain. The messy bun was comfortably enough that I could forget it was there, and I allowed myself a stretch before leaning back over the table, grasping my pen. As I began to read the next segment, I absently traced the end of the pen over my bottom lip, running it back and forth a few times before gently nibbling on the end. I heard the shuffling of Dean moving in his seat and a ragged clearing of his throat before the sound of vigorous laptop keys clicking ensued. Without looking up at him I continued reading, the pen still tapping my bottom lip, and when I neared the bottom of the paragraph, I slowly licked the pad of my index finger. My eyes never leaving the words, I turned the page swiftly with my dampened digit, the transition from one page to the next perfectly seamless. Another shuffle from the man opposite followed by a quiet groan filled the silence between us. Pen still between my teeth, I lifted only my eyes to glance at him and noted the dusting of pink across his cheeks and the furrow in his brow. Concluding that he’d had one too many beers I decided to ignore his persistent fidgeting, returning to my previous task on monotonous reading. Several sentences in and I’d almost forgotten Deans restlessness - that was until I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, deep in thought, that I earned myself a throaty groan and an exasperated sigh. I looked up just in time to watch him wipe a large hand down his face, momentarily masking his pained expression.
“Can you not do that? I can’t concentrate when you do that.”
“Do what?” Upon asking my question I absently took the pen between my teeth again, quickly glancing down at the book to place a mental bookmark.
“That.”
“What?”
“That. That thing you do with our mouth, and the pen, and your tongue and your finger. Can you please stop before it kills me.”
The heat beneath my skin was immediate at his admission, knowing my small, absent-minded actions were playing on his mind and making it hard for him to think straight. I instinctively crossed my legs, a fluttering in my lower belly instantly dragging my mind back to the deprived things I’d imagined Dean doing to me in the depths of night. The places I’d imagined his hands travelling, the areas his lips would touch and the sensations his tongue could create. These were deeply, deeply personal fantasies, and right now as Dean looked at me with a restrained hunger, I felt like I was wearing these fantasies for the world to see. For Dean to see.
“It doesn’t help that you’ve been sat over there like a sexy fucking librarian all evening, but every time you do that anything with that mouth - shit, sweetheart you’re driving me insane.” His voice was gravelly as he looked at me with desperate eyes across the table. The overly rational part of my brain had shut down completely, and now the part of my mind that had spent hours conjuring vivid scenes of Dean Winchester ravishing me in my entirety had taken the charge. I stood slowly, taking a moment to reason with myself - unsuccessfully of course - before sinking to my knees in front of my chair. I could see Deans strong thighs were spread wide beneath the table so I crawled forwards, across the cold tiles and placed myself between his legs. Resting my palms softly on his thighs I made him flinch at the unexpected contact. He immediately scooted his chair back, allowing a gap for me to poke my head through - his hand instantly acting as a barrier between the edge of the table and my skull. I got comfortable and allowed myself a moment to gaze up at him, to take in the strained furrow in his brow and the parting of his lips. I observed the way his chest rose and fell in apprehensive breaths, and the way his free hand clenched into a fist on his thigh - like he was so desperate yet so scared to touch me.
“(Y/n)-”
“Dean,” I spoke softly, slowly running my hands up his thighs - delicate palms against rough denim, “you’re a smart boy - you know I wouldn’t do something I didn’t want to do. So please, don’t say I don’t have to do this.”
Dean released a shaky breath the moment my fingers unclasped his jeans. I tugged them down slightly with his help, just enough so I could dip my hand into his boxers and wrap my fingers around his half-hard length. The moment my skin touched his, his head lolled back and his eyes fluttered closed with a breathy moan on his lips.
“Fuck…”
I gently pulled him from his confines, coming face to face with the cock I’d literally dreamt of again and again. I took the scene in, committing to memory the sharp outline of his jaw and the way his long lashes rested on his lightly-freckled cheeks. The way that, every time he breathed in, I could see his defined muscle tone through the thin fabric of his shirt; and with every small caress that my fingers made against his length, it made his fingers twitch and teeth clench. I licked my lips before leaning in and took his tip into my mouth, not giving him a chance to finish sucking in air through his teeth before I plunged his entire length down my throat. 
“Oh FUCK.”
His hands flew to my hair, fingers gripping tight as they loosened strands from the messy bun, causing them to fall around my face. He’d lifted his head to look down at me, pupils blown as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked nothing more than enthralled. Infatuated. Entranced. I moved my head up and down, up and down, again and again to a steady rhythm, pressing my tongue to the underside of his now rock-hard cock to trace every vein and nerve-ending.
“Shit, (Y/n), I didn’t know you could suck cock, like, at all… how’re you s’fuckin’ good…” his voice was breathless as he continued to grip my hair, his head flopping to the side as pleasure started to overcome his senses. I released him with a small ‘pop’, wrapping my fingers around him and smearing the warm mixture of saliva and precum from tip to base.
“Despite everything I told you earlier, Dean, I’m not a virgin - and this certainly isn’t my first rodeo,” my voice came out more sultry than I’d expected and I could feel Dean tremble beneath my palms.
“Fuck, I wish I’d known that sooner,” I chewed on my bottom lip, quickly becoming addicted to the way he writhed at my touch. The way he moaned and gripped my hair tighter when I sucked him back into my mouth was like pure ecstasy, my insides heating up and throbbing with an ache of familiar arousal. Like a thirst that could only be satisfied by him. By tasting him, feeling him on my tongue and drinking in every sound that passed his plush parted lips. The sensation of my glasses slipping down my nose as I sped up my ministrations had me reaching to push them back up, but not before Dean beat me to it. With the rough pad of his thumb he pushed on the plastic bridge, his palm and fingers pressed to my flushed cheek in the most tender, almost heart wrenching caress. I thought my heart might stop when he tilted my face up to his; lustful eyes burning into mine with a vehemence I’d never encountered. I stopped in my tracks, all actions ceased as the spell he’d somehow put me under wouldn’t let me look away. 
“If you keep going like that darlin’ this whole thing is gonna be over before you know it,” his voice was raspy, a rawness to it from the harsh breaths and ragged moans that had been pulled from his throat. He slowly pulled his cock from my spit-slick lips and grasped it loosely, giving himself a few lazy pumps whilst his other hand never left my face. He stared down at me, taking a few moments as though he was committing the sight of me, knelt between his knees with flushed cheeks and swollen lips to memory. Once it seemed that memory was locked away in the depths of his mind, he grasped me by the arm and pulled me effortlessly into his lap, his fingers almost bruising against my skin. Immediately I felt him, in his entirety, press against me with the heat and wetness seeping through my jeans and past my panties. This time when our eyes met, there was a mutual desperation; a need to consume each other and to feel every inch of his heated skin against mine. He pulled me frantically down to him and crashed his lips against mine. 
Some people describe their first kiss with someone like butterflies in their stomach, or fireworks exploding all around them. That wasn’t at all what this was like. Kissing Dean Winchester was different - it was wild and untamed - and describing this experience in such a mundane way would be like adding water to a top-shelf whiskey. Kissing Dean Winchester was like driving the impala at one thirty with the roar of the engine drowning out the rest of the world. It was like trying to ride a wild mustang without a saddle, or daring to stand on the highest peak on Earth with nothing to tie you down. It was exhilarating in the most dangerous way imaginable - and I was now officially a thrill seeker. 
The warm taste of the beer on his tongue and the masculine scent of old leather and cologne was pulling me under. Breathing no longer mattered as long as his mouth was on mine and his fingers were in my hair, now tugging the bobble out and throwing it to the floor. As my hair tumbled free he grabbed under my thighs and stood effortlessly, moving me from his lap to the edge of the table without his lips leaving mine. I winced slightly as the corners and several books and the laptop jabbed into my rear and I fumbled to move everything aside, failing when I refused to unlock our lips. Deans patience was non-existent and with one sweep of his strong arm everything tumbled to the floor - including the laptop. I threw the remaining books from underneath me down to join them, no longer caring for their wellbeing. Before I could pull Dean back in - to allow him to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to me - he hastily pulled off my boots and tugged down my jeans, throwing every item to the growing pile of chaos beside us. I discarded my sweater and top, but before I let his fingers touch my bra I wanted nothing more than to return the favour. 
“I guess you can forget about that whole ‘never seeing me shirtless’ thing, huh?” he smirked through the sexual fog, not waiting for a reply as his lips hungrily found mine again, his own top falling to the floor. 
“Shut up Winchester. Now are you gonna fuck me or wh- OH FUCK-”
Two thick fingers crept under my panties and plunged into me with zero hesitation, curling up and stroking the sensual cushion deep within my core with skillful precision. 
“Oh yeah? You want me to fuck you?” Even with my face now buried in the crook of his neck, I could hear the smirk in his voice, the tormenting tone going straight to my brain.
“Y-yes- fuck- please,” my knees twitched either side of him, squeezing at his hips with every push of his fingers. I gripped his shoulders tight, nails indenting his skin as I leant back to look at him better. Seeing the beads of sweat on his chest and brow alongside the raw, carnal desire in his eyes could have undone me there and then. He frowned in disapproval when I moved to remove my glasses, the fingers that were just inside me now wrapped forcefully around my wrist.
“What d’ya think you’re doing?” straight away I knew his growling question left no room for negotiation.
“I was just-”
“The glasses stay on.”
“To the end?”
“‘Til I say you can take them off.”
I did as I was told, moving my hand to grip the soft strands on the back of his neck, softly dragging my nails over his scalp and drawing a shiver from his spine and a groan from his lungs. He pulled me against him, crushing his lips against mine one more time. He swiftly pulled away and I leant back on my hands, both of us taking a moment to drink each other in - to bask in lascivious glory. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked up at him through my lashes, the lenses of my glasses starting to fog around the edges. Another deep moan rumbled from his chest as his heated gaze stayed locked to mine.
“I can’t wait any longer now that you’ve looked at me like that. Fuck.”
With a large hand gripping the soft flesh of my thigh he pulled my underwear to one side and lined himself up, slowly sinking in. Blissful moans harmonised between us, the rawness of him stretching me was unlike anything I’d ever experienced and my quivering thighs wrapped around him, pushing him to the hilt. He secured his large hands on the soft flesh of my hips and held me in place as he slowly withdrew. I could feel him; feel every ridge and vein drag out and then in, out and in, over my most sensitive, intimate, area. The slick sounds of our intimacy  began to echo around the room as he picked up speed, strong thighs working at a feverish pace. With every thrust he pushed against that one spot that made my legs jerk and eyes water, my arms almost giving out underneath me as the table rattled beneath my weight. With the ferocity of his pounding and the heightened sensitivity he’d curated between my legs only moments before, we both knew that neither of us would last long. The sounds of his ragged breaths and throaty moans alone had me clenching around him already, and I know my constricting muscles already had his hips stuttering as I sucked him in with every thrust.
“Fuck (Y/n)- You’re so fuckin’ tight-”
I chewed on my bottom lip as his desperate eyes met mine.
“Oh yeah? Well I feel like you’re cock is in my fucking ribcage- oh fuck-”
He slipped one hand between us, his large palm resting on my lower belly as his thumb drew fast circles around my clit. The immediate contact on my bundle of nerves had my whole body quivering, the knot of an impending climax already starting to twist tighter and tighter in the depths of my core. The way that Dean fucked me into the motel room table was something that I would be able to feel deep in my soul for the rest of my life - my body and entire nervous system having never been worked in such a feral way before. Dean dropped forward and crushed my body into his - one large strong arm wrapped around my trembling body and kept me pressed against him as his head dropped to the crook of my neck. Soft lips pressed hot kisses against my shoulder, teeth gently nibbling the soft flesh as the coil wound and wound, the wave of orgasmic bliss rising higher and higher as my mind emptied, leaving behind only one thought.
Dean.
He was all consuming - all I could see, taste and smell. All I could feel. Oh God could I feel him; driving me to the brink of pure bliss as he frantically sped up - desperate to seek his own undoing as well as my own. One… two… three more fervid thrusts and the peak he’d helped me ascend to shattered around me as I practically screamed his name, the white-hot euphoria scorching my insides as I clamped like a vice around him. 
“Oh shit- (Y/n) I can’t- fuck-”
I grabbed the back of his head and pushed his mouth to mine as he came undone, spilling inside me as he worked through his own white-hot euphoria. 
The kiss we shared evolved from hot and needy to soft and wanting - the sensation of hot cum running down the inside of my thigh and cooling against my skin being the only thing to pull me away. Dean continued to lean over me for a moment, looking down at me with an expression that told me he had so much he wanted to say. Instead, he looked down at his release now starting to pool on the floor beneath us, then to the books and laptop that had been thrown across the floor before turning back to face me with the most devilish grin on his face.
“You know that this mess is all your fault, right?”
I scoffed.
“My fault? How is it my fault?”
“Because, sweetheart…” he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pushed lightly on the plastic bridge sitting on my nose.
“You put on on those fucking glasses.”
--------------------------------------------------
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oflgtfol · 9 months ago
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three years after this post i have discovered that the star castor in the constellation gemini, is actually also a sextuple system with basically the same configuration
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today i am thinking about this six-star system and nothing else
#been obsessing over it for the past week. so fucking cool#brot posts#astro posting#the more i self teach myself stuff about actual constellations the more i come to love the zodiac#fuck astrology lol but especially fucking astrology bc the zodiac constellations are genuinely so fun and cool. as constellations.#and it sucks that if i ever wanna talk about them i always have to preface it with . 'i love the zodiac but in an ASTRONOMY way'#each constellation is super cool in their own way#except maybe aries lmfao aries has literally nothing going on inside of it. sorry aries#taurus. my beloved. my beloved for so many reasons. for crab nebula and aldebaran reasons. and for archaeoastronomy reasons#and then moving onto gemini i was expecting another meh situation especially bc taurus is such a hard act to follow#but no gemini is also actually super fucking cool???#i mean granted im nerding out solely over a single star in gemini but STILL#CASTOR IS SOOOO COOL ITS A SEXTUPLE SYSTEMM#castor has been identified since ANTIQUITY and obv we only relatively recently discovered that its not a single star#but just think how cool it is. humans have been identifying this star for millennia. and this star is actually six stars#unlike the system in the original post fuking TYC 7037-89-I some random shit found in a random sky survey#anyway ive also been looking ahead to virgo now too since virgo's beginning to rise at night#and i havent had the time to actually sit down and like. Remember anything yet#but from my first preliminary research attempt virgo is also super fucking cool. SO many messier objects inside it#perhaps due to the fact its like. the second largest constellation so it has a larger area inside of it. or perhaps it has a higher density#of messier objects relative to the area it covers. idk regardless so fun cant wait to look more into it
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st4rymoon · 10 months ago
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⋆。˚ 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 彡
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𝟏𝟖+ | 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐎' 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫-𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
- 18+, unprotected sex, cream pie, nude! Videos being sent from both reader and Miguel, spanking, switch Miguel, language, teasing, riding!, bratty reader, nerdy Miguel <3, angry mig, fingering!, blowjob!, face fucking!, pet names
Part 3 of part 1 | part 2
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Miguel was nothing like you imagined once you really got to know him and it came as a surprise to say the least.
It was obvious that you and Miguel were developing an unspoken relationship after he spent the night at your apartment. Although neither of you communicated about where you were headed with it, there was a change in Miguel's usual routine, even without exchanging any words.
He used to sit across the classroom, but now he was sitting right beside you. He used to eat alone most nights, but suddenly you were there by his side, eating your comfort foods together.
Neither of you thought much had changed, but the second time you sat together, your professor even brought up that the study session did both of you good.
Now you guys don’t look like you want to fight each other when when talking!
She said it with a smile on her face, suspecting that the coziness between you was more than just friends. But when it came to the presentation, she was even more amazed.
Never in her years of teaching had she stood up and clapped for a presentation but the work you and Miguel did on your topic was almost double of what she had asked for.
“What a presentation, I knew both of you would do great together and I was right!” She praised once more as both of you stayed behind to talk to her a bit.
“He isn’t so bad” you joke. Miguel on the other hand was smiling like a fool as he watched you talk on about how both of you managed to get the quality of work out in such short time. “Turns out you didn’t drop us two points” Miguel teased.
Your eyes narrowed at his words, he will never let that slide will he? “What do you mean?” The professor smiled “Nothing! He just always brings up beating me by two points on an exam” you sigh.
“Mmhm” she nodded. “Anyways, I don’t want to keep you any longer! Go on and have fun” she shooed you off just like before.
Miguel put his arm around your shoulder as you both left class. "I'm sorry for teasing you in front of her. I just like seeing you get mad," he said with a kiss on your cheek.
“Keep it up and you’ll be locked out of my apartment” you threatened. “Oh sure I will, you’ll be beggin’ me through the phone to fuck that pretty little face out the second you walk in” Miguel purred.
You rolled your eyes at his cockiness “like you won’t be sending me videos of you fucking yourself with your hand pft. Fuckkk jus’ like that “ you mocked.
Even if you were making fun of him you always loved the videos he sent you but it was always fun to tease him about it. You catch yourself thinking of his hand wrapped around his cock, fucking into his fist as he whimpered your name.
You can still see the image of his pretty thick cock coated in his cum as he overstimulated himself, his voice rumbling through the phone as he panted in lust.
“I’m not saying I wouldn’t honey, I’ll say it with my chest that I like fucking myself to the thought of you. And I know you loveee it when I send you videos” Miguel cooed.
You rolled your eyes at his tone, cocky as always. “I’m going home” you scoff. Miguel pouted ay mami ya sabes que nomas te quiero fregar. I’m jus’ teasing baby.
“I have one class left but I’ll meet you at your apartment yeah?” Miguel sighed in annoyance as he looked at his watch “mhm, see you there” you nodded as he pulled you into a kiss “be good” he winked as he gave a final goodbye.
The second you turned around you smiled to yourself. An idea was coming to mind.
Miguel always got bored in his English class, as it was his least favorite subject being a science nerd. You thought of repaying him for all the videos he had sent you. To do so, you decided to send him a video for the first time today.
Once you made it home, you shuffled out of your shoes and almost ran into your room. Which matching set? The red lace? Black lace? Oh! You forget about the white one you had just ordered online. They’d be perfect.
Slipping your casual panties and bra off, you semi hurriedly change into the new brand new white lace set. You glared into the mirror as the white thin lace cupped your tits perfect, the pretty pink bows on each side of the straps sitting perfect.
The panties on the other hand were a thicker material with an outer lace detailing, it covered you up but still hugged the curves of your body beautifully.
Miguel would definitely be pissed. You can see it now, his fist clenched under the desk as he tries to stop the growing bulge in his pants from growing. And oh how he hoped no one else saw what you’d sent, he’d throw a side eye back to the person behind him just to make sure they weren’t looking at his screen.
You sat yourself down onto the bed, phone in hand. You opened the camera app and were faced with the reflection of yourself on the screen. You shuffled around to get the perfect angle of your tits almost spilling out as you laid back before pressing record.
You squeezed and kneaded each breast, moaning softly and only allowing your mouth to be visible on screen. You arched and squirmed as your hand ran down your body with your phone following.
The lighting in the room enhanced the visual of your pretty cunt being hugged by the white panties. Cupping and softly rubbing your cunt before ending the video.
You watched it over and decided it was good enough to send. Within a few clicks you were on Miguel’s messages, and just like that, sent.
You smiled as the small lettering on the bottom said read within a few seconds. While he watched you’d record another, now moving your panties to the side and giving the camera a full view of your glimmering cunt.
You rubbed soft circles onto your clit, letting out a soft moan as you rolled your hips onto your fingers. You didn’t even bother watching this one as you got back into the messaging app.
You could see the bubbles typing as you sent the other video, the cover being of your fingers moving your thin panties to the side. And just like that, the bubbles disappeared.
There was no reply for a few minutes, just the read letting you know he saw it. You watched your phone, waiting for a text but to no avail. Wow.
Was he just ignoring you now? Well, you’ll make sure it bothers him even more. You went on to send him another video but now your two fingers were pumping in and out of you at a messy slow angle.
The lewd sounds of your pussy making it pornographers dream. Once you sent that one, you knew he was staring at his massages because within a second the message said read.
You thought Miguel was ignoring you but in reality he was watching the videos over and over again. Even in class he managed the hide his phone between his thighs and give himself just enough room to watch his phone. He put on one AirPod and put up the volume.
He looked around making sure no one was watching him before he pressed play. He let out an almost audible moan as he saw your tits on full display, he squirmed in his seat as you lowered the phone.
He was going to say how pretty you looked until he saw your pussy as the cover to the next video. His eyes widened as he pressed play, you sounded like a fucking dream. Miggg I miss you so much, miss you inside me
He was only 30 mintues into class and he was paying no mind to whatever the professor was talking about. Then it just got worse.
He could feel himself growing hard at the visual of your short fingers trying their best to fuck your self the way he did, your pretty little whines and whimpers only turning him on more.
Miguel shut his laptop, messily packing up his things and got the hell out of the fucking class room. He could just read up on whatever bullshit the professor was going in about.
He had a tense look on his face, his body tense and now the once tucked hoodie now hanging lower down his legs.
You sat in your bed without a worry in the world, you laughed as you imagined how painful it was to for him to sit in his class and watch you play with yourself through the screen.
You had your headphones on as you laid on your tummy, listening to your favorite song with a confident smile on your face.
The sound of the your door opening didn’t make it through the sound cancelled headphones as Miguel threw his stuff onto the ground and stomped toward your bedroom.
A loud yell echoed through your apartment as you yelled from the harsh smack on your ass. You jumped out of your headphones and sat up in a matter of seconds.
But before you could even process what had happened you were dragged onto the edge of the bed, perched up infront of Miguel as he angrily stared down at you with his arms crossed“you think that was funny huh?” Was all he said.
You tried to hold the slight giggle slipping past your lips “just a little.”
He scoffed and pulled you onto your feet “you sure do look pretty don’t you? Turn around for me” he coldly seethed “I don’t want to” you mocked with a little smirk on your face.
“You don’t want to?” He repeated before yanking you into his arms and sitting on the bed. You were giggling as he manhandled you onto his lap “why not” Miguel huffed with his hand holding your face to his “because I like how you get when I don’t do what you want.”
You know you were being a bit bratty, something Miguel had never seen to this extent but oh how he sure was loving it. “You like it when I get mad huh? Why? Because you want me to wear out that bratty little attitude? Tell me.”
Miguel was angry beyond belief. He didn’t like knowing someone could’ve seen you on his screen yet he loved knowing if they did, they’d know you were his. “I do mig, I love it when you're all big and mean” you pouted as you grind your hips onto his.
He let out a deep groan as you did so. “Then I guess I’ll be just that” he hissed while flipping you onto your stomach. You were pressed against his legs, your ass in perfect view as your head dangled besides his hip “I don’t wanna wear a peep out of you” Miguel seethed as he squeezed the fatty flesh of your ass.
He groaned as he caught a glimpse of your plump cunt “look at that” he hummed as two of his fingers pressed onto your folds, the faint wet spot on your panties making him smile.
You giggled as he cuffed your panties and dragged them down your thighs. You could feel his cock pressing onto your waist as you laid over his knee.
Miguel’s thick hand smacked down onto your ass, the harsh hit making you flinch but were quickly met with his warm hands kneading the spot right after. “How many do you think you deserve” he questioned.
“As many as you think I deserve” you cooed with your hips wiggling up in the air. You were met with a satisfied moan from above as another harsh smack hit onto your ass.
After many harsh hits, you began to regret the effort to be snarky. You underestimated how heavy his hand was as he continuously spanked you and he was fully aware of it too.
The once giggly Bratty whines from you now growing shaky and tired. “It’s too much now? You said you could take it” he chuckled. You nodded as he kneaded your ass and giving you one last smack before dipping his two fingers into your cunt.
“She’s all nice and wet for me isn’t she?” Miguel dipped his fingers slowly into your gushy cunt. His fingers were now coated in your sticky cum with each pump of his digits.
Soft whines escape your lips as he let out a needy moan. Miguel was growing impatient as his painfully hard cock strained against his jeans so he made a quick decision to flip you onto the bed.
You whined at the loss of his fingers but were met with a sight that made your thighs clench. Miguel looked completely ruined, his hair was disheveled and his glasses were on the bridge of his nose.
He looked primal with his eyes boring into yours “you really walked out of class for me” you smiled as he pulled his shirt off and moved up the bed.
He ignored your words as he ripped your legs apart and settled himself between you. His jeans were still on as he buried himself into your neck, his hands squeezing your thighs as he pressed himself onto your cunt.
“You think it was funny to send me those in class? What if someone saw them, then what would we have done?” Miguel heavily panted. “I wasn’t trying to be funny, I just wanted to show you how much I missed you” you pouted.
You could feel how hard he was trying to hold back from just fucking you into the sheets. You didn’t know why he was holding back but you could guess it was to teach you a lesson.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhm”
“Then show me” Miguel smiled as he began to unbuckle his belt. He kicked his jeans off and swapped positions. His hands held onto your thighs as you sat perked onto his lap.
“Go on” he nodded. You smiled as your fingers cuffed his boxers and dragged them down his thick thighs. You licked your lips at the sight of his grithy cock, you shuffled down to your knees and glared up at him with an innocent smile.
Miguel’s hips julted up the second you held him in your hand and took him into your mouth. A gruntled moan spills from his lips as you bobbed your head up and down, tounge twirling around his base just like he loves it.
His hand flew down to your head, his right hand guiding you as his deep moans filled the room “jus’ like that bunny, o- oh fuck! Fuck jus- like that yeah” he was muttering praises as you worked your mouth around him.
You hummed as his hips began to thrust into your mouth, both of his hands now holding your head in place as he fucked your face out “oohhh fuckkkk feels so fuckin’ good love, a- ah! Oh god” he seethed.
You began to breath through your nose as you gagged with each heavy thrust “that’s it, take it” he seethed with a deadly glare in his eyes. Your hands held onto his thighs as he brutally fucked your face, but before he could cum you fully pulled yourself out of his grasp.
He groaned angrily as you moved up his hips with saliva dripping down your chin. Miguel’s eyes squeezed shut at the loss of pleasure snd before he could scold you for stopping you he was met with your pussy sleeving his cock.
“Fucking f- ah!” He seethed as you held him down by his shoulders, using his cock like your favorite toy as your hips slammed down onto his cock. You watched as Miguel’s eyes rolled back, his glasses now laying besides him as he loudly moaned.
Miguel was always amazed at the way you rode him, your hips circling and slamming onto his lap. He could hear the lewd sounds of your pussy with each thrust.
He didn’t bother moving his hips as you rode him like a a personal stallion “feels so good mig, always feel sooo good” you cried as he hit the perfect spot over and over again.
He dumbly nodded as he watched your tits bounce with each thrust, even catching the way your thighs began to clench. Your nails scratched down his chest as his fat cock stretched your cunt out perfectly, fulfilling every need and desire as you began to clench around him.
“Mig mig! Miguel oh fu-“ you cried out as his angry tip hit deep into your guts. Your moans filled his ears as you gushed around his cock, Miguel finally let himself cum as you fell onto his chest. His hands held your hips tightly as he softly runts into your cunt.
The lewd sticky sounds of both of your cum sounding like heaven. His heavy breaths and moans coming to a halt as you both came down from your highs.
“Guess you did miss me” he weakly smiled, his eyes almost closed as he pated your head softly, helping you relax in his arms.
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meldoujin · 3 months ago
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More Baby Effect WIPs
(and some nerd babble)
Hehe
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Honestly when the day this chapt is out comes I'm seriously considering popping a champagne cuz it's taking so long it feels like a damn holiday
Snarky jokes appart, I'm really anxious to finish this! Plus, I'm already itching for the chapt after this one, so I went to check the comic's script and WOW. It changed a lot! Also it's bigger, has so many interactions that aren't even written down anywhere and a lot of deleted chapters.
There are some things that don't need to be written to be told and it's so fun to see them unraveling in the details.
Yes, I'm a total comic nerd
Anyway, backgrounds
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No matter how wobbly they might look for me sometimes, I just love drawing random forms or anything that's just a lot of scribbles on top of the other if you look closely (I just googled it and found out you call it hatch drawing).
If I could, I'd draw everything this way. Still practicing though, and it's easier to do it as rocks/trees and other stuff. The best one I managed until now is that cave ceiling up there and the first WIP I posted. Honestly I don't even know how did I pull that out, it's just- I didn't even do any lineart or shading for it, but the scribbles made the cave's form, depth and angle so clear. It's so cool and I want to master it someday 🫡
I did try it before in BBE (very few of them looked nice) and I did it a lot in a previous one 'Haloween scare run!' . That comic is A TOTAL MESS. But eh, I like it
Like this one oh dear God the angle is so wrong ldjdrjsk but it really felt nice to scribble the trees like that
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This one actually looks cool,
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This panel is complicated, the trees are cool in the background but there's a lot of info and it's a bit confusing. Wait
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THE HELL KDFHJREK I DIDN'T REMEMBER THIS
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Get'em girlll being rotten ain't keeping you from twerking... kind of
Anyway, I'm putting a lot of myself in this chapter as you can see, and drawing it slowly is just as fun as it is unsettling XD (I want to finish ittt raaah)
I really hope you see it once it's done!
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nonotnolan · 1 year ago
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Group Project
"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."
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"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."
Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.
Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"
"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"
Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."
"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."
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Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"
"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.
He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."
"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.
"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."
Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.
"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"
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Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.
"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"
The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"
He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.
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skylarkspinner · 9 months ago
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fiber art adventures in egypt
I recently got back from a trip to Egypt & finally got around to organizing some pictures to share. One of the things I was most excited about was seeing what I could find on fiber arts and textiles.
Dropping everything under a read more, 'cause this will be a long post haha
first visit: the National Museum of Egyptian Civilization (NMEC)
At the time of visiting, they had a special textiles exhibit. It covered Pharonic Egypt all the way up to modern times, although I only had time to check out the dynastic & a bit of the Coptic portion of the exhibit (which was what I was really hoping to see anyways)
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Was super excited to see this diorama in person. I knew about it but had never seen good pictures of it. From the little I've seen of ancient Egyptian spinning, spinning with two spindles seems to be the norm rather than a master technique? It also shows up in tomb art, which the exhibit also shared:
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They also used a different fiber preparation (splicing to create a rove of fiber, no traditional drafting to my understanding) so that probably made a difference? Regardless I really want to see if I can replicate the technique, especially because their spindles look so similar to modern spindles??
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I took so many pictures of spindles, guys, and I fully intend to either have a few replicas made or to learn to make some myself. Also, although they were unlabeled... I'm pretty sure those are beaters for weaving? That was a bit of a trend with this trip, so much stuff was unlabeled :( I would've killed to at least get some date estimates for some of the stuff they had on display. I was nerding out in here though, and my family took a few pictures of how excited I was getting. A bit embarrassing, but eh haha
The exhibit also had a section on natural dyes used with a fun visual;
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There was several diagrams specifically describing each dye source, but in the interest of not overloading on pictures I'll just list them out. For blues; woad, Yellows; turmeric, safflower, saffron, or yellow ochre; reds; madder, henna, pomegranate, and kermes. I originally thought kermes was another way to say cochineal, but it only seems to be distantly related.
next visit: Ramses Wissa Wassef Art Center
A small art center dedicated to hand-weaving wool and cotton tapestries. All of their work was museum quality & awe inspiring!!
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Was even invited to their back rooms to watch a few of their weavers working; no I don't have room to put a room-sized loom anywhere but heck do I want one now
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Our guide that took us through talked a bit about the natural dyes they use (all of their dyes are dyed in house with what they grow in their dye garden!!!) and got excited to hear I was also interested in natural dyes! He seemed a bit disappointed I'd never worked with indigo and. while indigo scares me, I'll take it as a sign that maybe I should try some time this year haha.
final visit; the Egyptian Museum
we really had to rush through this one which was a huge shame because it's packed full of artifacts. Also, the lighting in there is atrocious, so apologies for the not great pictures ahead.
They had a fascinating display of textile tools, more than what the NMEC had;
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(Hand for size reference) I want all of these spindles! So badly! But a few of them look so much like a few of the spindles I own already?? A few of them had a spiraling notch, that's so cool? But also, what's going on with the one with two whorls? I have no idea. I'm fascinated.
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Look at these whorls!! Although again, I'm a bit confused; the lack of labeling strikes again. Unsure why some of these "whorls" have two holes, or what the metal object with the wooden handle is. The display implies sewing needles, and some of them do look like it, but others.... really don't look like sewing needles. I'm absolutely enchanted by this little whorl though. I think it has birds on it?
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More objects that I'm baffled by- the signage doesn't really indicate what some of this stuff is, if it's even known. Also confused by the object wrapped in white string in the right pic; it looks like a distaff but to the best of my knowledge the (ancient at least) Egyptians didn't use distaffs. It probably popped up in later times and was put in this display since it was still relevant, but I'm still not sure.
I have so many more pictures & thoughts but I'll save those for more specific future projects. I've been doing research outside this trip on ancient Egyptian spinning techniques and desperately want to go deeper into that, this trip just solidified how excited it makes me. If you made it all the way through this, many thanks for reading!
Bonus; look at this ancient linen 🥺
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busket · 3 months ago
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gravity falls rant, cw sexual assault and harassment
seeing the gf fandom do a full 180 on billford is so odd to see and kind of infuriating because I had so many nasty rumors and lies spread about me in 2015-2018 because I liked them as bitter exes. a callout google doc was made and I never read it, but I know it framed me as a creep and an abuser. all because I thought a cartoon nerd and a triangle had a fascinating dynamic that was dark and compelling
in 2017 or 2018 someone sent like 70 messages to my curiouscat just repeating RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST over and over again. I'd never even had sex at that point, and I had just cut my dad out of my life for actually being a pedophile and a rapist. so that was traumatizing! that really hurt me!
I also know it was because I had a NSFW account where i drew porn (i was an adult, i was clear i only wanted adults following me. and I still do draw nsfw, I'm not ashamed of that now but these folks made me ashamed of it for years) that included some porn of trans men, like Stanley or Stanford as trans men (NEVER together bc I've always been staunchly against incest or pedophilia ships) and these people framed me as a transphobe and a transmasc fetishist
well obviously I'm a trans man now and I didn't know it at the time but those drawings were a way to explore my own relationship with gender. I even look like Stan and Ford now, obviously i latched on to them as trans men because I wanted to BE them. but I believed it when people called me a piece of shit, I assumed all trans people would despise me too and I'd committed a horrible sin and it forced me back in the closet for another 5 years.
the people doing this were teenagers at the time, a few I thought were my friends/mutuals, and they made that part of my life kinda miserable. I was already miserable with other shit going on in my life. I ignored most of the harassment to make myself uninteresting and to avoid the possibility of becoming a lolcow but it involved anonymous messages both on tumblr and curiouscat, I even got a few emails just mocking me. even in 2019 when some people were like "oh yeah she's moved on to moomin, this is what her art looks like now, I can't look at it without thinking about how much she loves rape :/" which was NEVER true!!! I liked Ford and Bill as bitter exes but it was always consensual in my mind.
Anyway I don't ever expect or even want an apology. I'm sure they don't realize what an effect that harassment had on me during literally the darkest years of my life. to them they were just teasing a weird girl on the internet for fun, or very seriously warning their friends against whom they'd been lied to about being an abuser, but I was a closeted trans man trying to finish college, my home life was abysmal and abusive, I hated myself, i hated my body, my only friends were online, and when I'd log on for some escapism I was met with another message like "hey, you should block this person. they're saying some really cruel things about you on their account. I know it's not true but it looks like some people are believing it."
gravity falls was so important to me as a show since oregon is my home and it felt so authentic to my own childhood being interested in cryptids and going camping and visiting shit like the Oregon vortex as a child. but the fandom was the worst I've ever been in. it ruined my enjoyment of media online for years. so idk. I guess I feel somewhat vindicated but it would also be nice to get those years back and not be harassed and bullied online about something so stupid and unimportant
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reputationmunson · 2 years ago
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The Stars Align | Eddie Munson x Fem!reader
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Summary: Your hopeless crush on Eddie Munson might not be so hopeless after all thanks to a trip to family video
Content: fluff, Steve has a little crush on you but you’re into eddie, swearing, making out, mentions of bullying, she/her pronouns, reader is a year younger than Eddie
Word Count: 3.1K
a/n: i haven’t posted a fic in so long i’m so happy i was actually able to finish something! i hope you all enjoy :)
divider by @firefly-in-darkness
_
“Oh my god, Robin, she’s here! How does my hair look?” Steve asks frantically as he sees your car pull into family video. “Who is it this week?” She sighs, growing tired of seeing Steve strike out again and again.
“You already know who it is. I’ve been using my best work for weeks and…nothing” he groans. “Really? Telling her about the time you had a dental emergency due to milk duds is your best work?” 
Before Steve can respond, the bell above the door rings and you walk in, looking as pretty as ever.
“H-hey! Haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you aren’t cheating on us with blockbuster” Steve says when you approach the counter and Robin cringes so much that she has to walk away. 
“Nope” you say with a laugh “I’ve just been busy, but I finally have a night to myself. Can you check if you have a movie for me?” 
“yeah, anything for you- I mean, um anything for a loyal customer not like I’d do anything for you. Well, I might, but not in a weird way-” 
“Steve” you chuckle “I didn’t think it was anything weird. Until now” 
“Right, yeah. Sorry. Anyways, what movie are ya lookin’ for?” He sits at the computer to pull up the movies on file. “Nightmare on Elm Street”
“Actually, my friend, Eddie, rented that yesterday, but I can see if he’s watched it yet so he can bring it back for you?” he suggests
“Eddie munson? You’re friends with him?” 
“Oh, yeah, but don’t worry he doesn’t actually worship the devil he’s just like this huge nerd with a weird taste in music”
“No, I know. I just, uh, think he’s really cute”
“Oh” he says in a bit of disbelief. he’s been trying to ask you out for weeks and this whole time you’ve had the hots for Eddie. “You think he’s cute?” Robin asks, appearing out of nowhere with a big smile on her face. 
“y-yeah. there’s something about the big brown eyes and long hair, i guess” you sigh, dreamily while Steve thinks hey, i’m a guy with brown eyes and a lot of hair.
“Ya know what, feel free to look around and we’ll take care of something real quick” Robin says and you wander off to the horror section. 
“Call Eddie” She tells Steve. 
“What? Why?”
“This is fate, Steve. She wants to rent the same movie Eddie just rented and she also happens to be, like, totally in love with him” She states and he rolls his eyes. “In love, Robin? She said he was cute because he has eyes and hair.”
“Aw, you’re jealous.” she teases. “Well, kinda. I wanted to ask her out and I haven’t had any luck in months with anyone.” Steve whines
“Think about it. Do you really wanna ask a girl out who’s into one of your closest friends? That’s obviously a recipe for disaster, so call him” Robin says and Steve groans. He hates when she’s right, but he picks up the phone and dials anyway. 
“Hey, munson. Have you watched Nightmare on Elm Street yet?”
“I got it yesterday, Steve, what’s the rush?”
“There’s a pretty girl here who wants to rent it”
“And what do I have to do with that?” Eddie asks, thinking Steve is just trying to use his ‘position of power’ (Steve’s words, literally no one else's) to try and impress any cute girl that walks through the door. 
“Well, somehow the universe keeps finding ways to laugh at me because when I told her my friend Eddie has it she said you were cute or something” you can overhear Steve and you could die of embarrassment. You had flashbacks to middle school when your best friend told your crush that you liked him and he made fun of you for the rest of the school year. 
“I am cute, Harrington and you know it. Who is she?” 
Steve tells him your name and Eddie's heart practically stops for a second. He can’t believe the pretty girl he’s had a crush on for years thinks he’s cute. 
“I’ll be right there” Eddie says before hanging up and sprinting out the door with Nightmare on Elm Street in hand. 
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“Welcome to Fam- Oh, it’s just you. She’s in the horror section” Steve grumbles when Eddie walks in. “Why do you have that look on your face?” Eddie asks Robin. Her eyes are big, smile even bigger with a hint of her ‘I just came up with a master plan’ look. “No reason, just go find your girl”
Eddie strolls over to find you and you look as gorgeous as always. You’re wearing a dress that stops halfway down your thighs, leaving your beautiful legs exposed, your lips shimmer from the gloss you put on, and you have an adorable look of concentration on your face as you look through the movie selection.
“Hey, you must be the pretty girl who’s just dying to watch this movie” He finally speaks up after admiring you. You turn to him and smile “you brought this back for me? you didn’t have to do that. did you at least get a chance to watch it?” You walk closer to him and the smell of your perfume makes him crazy. Everything about you just gets better and better.
“No, but it’s alright. I saw it in theaters, so it’s no biggie” 
“Now I feel bad. You obviously wanted to watch it again and i’m only renting it because I’m like the only person who hasn’t seen it yet” 
“You haven’t seen this masterpiece yet? It came out four years ago” he gasps and holds up the movie, making you giggle. Music to his ears.“I know. I’m lame” 
There’s a beat of silence and if anyone were to look at Eddie, they could practically see the wheels turning in his head. For years, he’s been trying to find a way to work up the courage to just talk to you and now it feels like he’s been presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. 
“Maybe we could watch it together” he suggests and feels like he’s stopped breathing until you give him an answer. You look up at him with your captivating eyes and nervously fiddle with your hands. “Yeah, I’d really like that” you respond and Eddie feels like he could do ten cartwheels right here in the middle of the isle. Little does he know you feel the same way. 
“Yeah? Are you free tonight around eight?’’ He asks and you nod. “Can I get your address?” 
Luckily, you had a scrap piece of paper and a pen in your purse and you write down his address with shaky hands due to the nerves from being asked on by the guy you’ve been hopelessly pining after for years. 
“So, I’ll see you tonight?” He asks as you both walk over to the door. Steve and Robin are watching you both like hawks, but quickly act like they are working when Eddie shoots them a glare. 
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” you promise and he flashes his million dollar smile. “Me too. I mean, of course I will, it’s my house so why wouldn’t I be there, um, anyways I’m gonna go before I say something stupid again” He chuckles, nervously.
“I should go too. Thank you for bringing that movie back” You touch his arm in appreciation and his head spins at the feeling of your touch. “No problem. Plus, this movie might be too scary for you to watch alone”
“Yeah? Are you gonna protect me?’’ you step closer to him, hand still on his arm. 
“With my life, sweetheart” 
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Ten minutes before eight, you park outside of Eddie’s trailer. You couldn’t believe this was finally happening after wanting this for as long as you can remember.
You had transferred to Hawkins High your junior year, which was Eddie’s first senior year and you’d been smitten since. On your first day, he had one of his infamous outbursts in the cafeteria, and while everyone else was mortified, you couldn’t help but be intrigued at his passion. He was always loud and never let anyone’s opinions of him change who he was. It was admirable
The two of you never had many interactions besides when you’d let him borrow a pen in science class. You were always too afraid to ever say anything to him about the way you felt, and when you graduated while he stayed behind, you’d thought your chance had passed you by. Now, three years after you graduated, you’re standing outside his front door about to watch a movie with him. Life is funny like that. 
“Hey- fuck, you look good” Eddie’s words slip out before he can process that he said it out loud and you chuckle “Really? I just threw on some comfy clothes, but thank you” 
“You always look good. Anyways, welcome to my humble abode” He bows and motions for you to come inside. You look around once you're inside, taking in your surroundings. You’re in Eddie Munson’s living room and you know it’s silly, but it feels like things are finally falling into place. 
“Make yourself at home, I’m gonna get the popcorn. Do you want anything to drink? I got some coke it you want one” 
“Yeah, that’d be great” you answer as you sit on the couch. He puts the popcorn in a bowl and pours you both a drink. You take note of the Garfield mug he’s put his drink in and you smile at how adorable he is. 
“Lights on or off?” he asks after he puts the movie in. “Off, obviously. Gotta have the whole experience, right” He nods in agreement, turning off all the lights until the tv is the only illuminations. When he sits on the couch, he sits right next to you leaving no space and you couldn’t be happier about it. 
Eddie’s confidence seems to grow in the dark.  He does that cheesy thing where he pretends to yawn and stretch so he can put his arm around you. It’s cliche, but it makes both of you smile, nonetheless. 
As you sense a jumpscare approaching, you nestle closer to his side and hide your face in his neck. He can feel your breath fanning on his skin and he can’t seem to think straight. When you hear a scream from the television, you jump a little and he chuckles. “This coming from the girl who wanted to turn the lights off” he jokes
“Hey, don’t make fun of me. I was promised protection and that’s supposed to come without torment” You move your head to look at him and when he looks back at you, your faces are so close together your noses are almost touching. You’re about to put your lips on his until another scream comes from the movie, causing you to jump again. 
“Can I tell you something?” he asks in a whisper. “yeah, anything” you move to position yourself more comfortably, but still close to him. 
“I’ve had the biggest, most embarrassing crush on you since high school” he confesses and your eyes widen in surprise. “you have not” 
“Cross my heart. You were the only person to smile at me when I’d pass you in the halls. You weren’t afraid of me like everyone else.” 
“Why would I be afraid of you? You’ve always seemed like a teddy bear wrapped in leather to me.” You think it sounds too cheesy when you hear it out loud, but Eddie thinks it makes you even sweeter. 
“Teddy bear, huh? I didn’t work this hard for my bad boy image to be compared to a stuffed animal” he jokes. “Bad boy image?” you scoff “You’re drinking out of a garfield mug”
“Alright, you got me there, but Garfield is a total badass” 
“If you say so. Can I tell you something now?” you ask and he lets out an mhmm before you continue. “I’ve had a crush on you since highschool, too.”
“No shit? I mean Steve told me you thought I was cute but I thought he was just fucking with me” Eddie seems to be playing it cool at your confession, but he’s screaming on the inside.
“It was my first day at Hawkins and you were hard to not take notice of after one your cafeteria spiels. I remember everyone thinking you were obnoxious or a freak, but I was just enamored with you.”
“You never thought I was some satanist sacrificing children? I think you were the only one” he huffs out a laugh. Eddie’s life has been easier since high school. He still gets some weird looks every now and then, but things have calmed down. Although he always put on a brave face, some of those days were harder than others. It’s nice to know that you never thought he could be capable of doing those things he was accused of. 
“I always felt guilty that I never stood up for you. I hated watching them berate you and what I hated even more is that I was too scared to ever say anything to them” you say, looking down at your lap to avoid eye contact.
“Don’t feel guilty about that. They wouldn’t have stopped anyways” he places his hand on your thigh and you turn your head to look at him. He has a look of appreciation in his eyes, like he’s trying to let you know that you didn’t need to say anything to those assholes. Just you being thoughtful for him is enough. 
“I even left a note in your locker one day. It was when one of those idiots tore pages out of your campaign notebook and I guess I just wanted you to know that there was someone on your side” 
“That was you? It’s been driving me crazy for years trying to figure out who that was!” 
“you got it?” your eyes light up.
“I did. Still have it, too. This is probably embarrassing, but I’d read it whenever I had a bad day. I guess I didn’t want anyone to know that anything ever got to me and that I was above it all” He sighs. Eddie likes that he can be vulnerable with you. He hardly ever opens up to anyone about anything, but there’s just something about you that makes him comfortable. He feels like he could tell you anything and you wouldn’t judge him for a second. 
“Do you still have it? The note?” you ask and he scurries to his room to rummage through his nightstand where he keeps it. 
“Closest thing I’ve ever gotten to a love letter” he says before handing you the piece of paper that reads:
Eddie,
Sorry if this is weird, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how they treat you. I think you’re awesome and I hope you think that too. This town is a little less shitty with you in it. Never change
P.s. you look really good with long hair please don’t cut it
You chuckle when you read the last line. “I can’t believe you kept it. I knew I was right when I called you a teddy bear. You’re secretly a big softie, huh?” 
“The softest. But only for you, yeah?” 
“So that crush on me you had in high school… do you still have it?”
“It never went away, but now it’s even bigger than some teenage puppy dog shit” 
Everything around you seems to drown out. You’re too focused on how close Eddie’s face is to your own. His lips look so soft and pillowy, the perfect shade of pink. You scan over the rest of his face, entranced with his beauty. His eyes are even prettier up close. You could count his eyelashes with how little distance there is between the two of you and you think that one day you will.
Right now, the one thing you’ve wanted the most is quite literally staring you right in the face. Not a loud sound from the movie, or even if the end of the world was happening right outside could take you away from this moment. 
“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, hand coming up to cradle your face. “Please” you barely get out.
Eddie gently places his lips on yours and it feels like this weight you’d be carrying around had been lifted from your body. Nothing in your life has felt more right than this kiss. 
You’re kissing Eddie Munson. The boy from the hallway that always gave you a kind smile and made you weak in the knees. The boy from your science class who never had a pen. The boy who you’ve wanted since you were 17. You always criticized yourself for never getting over what you thought was just a silly little crush, but it’s always been more than that. Every moment leading up to this has been worth it and you’d do it all over again if it meant you got to kiss him. 
You instantly miss his lips on yours when he pulls away and you can barely stand it, so you pull him back in. This kiss is more intense. You melt when his tongue glides into your mouth and his hand moves to hold your waist. You both put all of your feelings and passion into this kiss. It’s pure electricity. 
You wish you didn’t need oxygen to breathe. You wish you could live forever in this position, but unfortunately that isn’t the case, so you both slowly break apart but not without him giving you a few pecks before fully pulling back. 
His pupils are blown wide and his cheeks are flushed. His hair is a little messy due to you threading your hands through his soft curls. He’s never looked more beautiful. 
“So, I know this was only our first time hanging out, but- uh- do you want to be my girlfriend?” he asks, nervously and you smile so big that it causes your eyes to wrinkle. 
“I’d love to” you simply answer. 
“Yeah? You wanna be mine?’’ he smiles as relief washes over him. 
“I’ve always been yours” 
Nightmare on Elm Street has been long forgotten. Eddie restarted it twice, but each time you both end up in deep conversation and he’s kissed you more times than you can count. Maybe one day you’ll watch it, but today isn’t that day. Not when you’re sitting next to the most kissable person on earth. 
_
The End
_
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joaniscruzing · 5 months ago
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stars between us ch.2 : h.c
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Hey you guys!! here's chapter two! I'll do everything I can to have chapter three tomorrow. I'm looking to have 8-9 chapters total of this series. COMMENT on this post if you'd like to be added to this taglist.
Summary: You and Hazel spend the first night of the camping trip together
Contains: fluff, hand-holding, one-bed trope, teasing friends, slight angst, hazel talking about the pep rally, hazel talking abt toxic friends, awkward!hazel, nerd!reader
“So, that leaves you and Hazel,” Isabel had pointed out. 
You and Hazel look at each other and smile. Of course you two were fine with sharing a bed. You two got along well anyway. The two of you leave your things on the bed and then go outside to a nearby picnic table. It wasn’t too late in the day, as there was still light outside. The sky was only now just getting darker. The two of you begin to continue your conversation from the bus, picking up exactly where you left off.
“Okay,” you say, “enough about me. Where in the actual universe are you getting bombs?”
“Where else? You really think I’m going to like some deep, dark alleyway to find supplies? I usually just go to Home Depot and grab my supplies.”
“Really?” you ask surprisedly, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m not joking. I’ll take you one day if you’d like.”
“Wow Hazel, stringing your new friend into your bomb-making endeavors.” To this comment, Hazel giggles and plays with the rings on her fingers. She looked absolutely adorable doing this.
“I’d never let you get in trouble for it though,” Hazel adds quickly, “I don’t like throwing people under the bus.”
“Sure you don’t,” you quip teasingly, “If you don’t, then what was that with PJ during the last pep rally?”
“Now that’s a different story. PJ, umm, made me feel, unloved? The fight club has been a safe space for me during my mom’s midlife crisis. I guess when PJ kind of summed up for me that I had no friends, and, um, had a skank as a mom, I wanted to defend myself. Also, they said I was fighting PJ.”
“Well, you have me, so you have friends. And uh, I don’t know about the mom stuff, but she definitely didn’t raise a skank, so that must say something.” Hazel smiles, glad that you at least understood her. She holds your hands, which had been resting on the table.
“I’m really glad we’ve started getting to know each other. It’s nice to talk with someone who’s like me in some ways.”
“Yeah. Even though I’m friends with like Isabel and Brittany and those people, I feel like they don’t understand. Like half of those people don’t even read. Like, the school took away the books and they just don’t care.” Hazel looks at you as you continue rambling, a concentrated, attentive look in her eyes. She seems dazed almost.
“Hazel?”
“Yeah?” she says, shaking out of her daze.
“You good? It seemed like you phased out for a moment.”
“No, I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well yesterday.” You look up at the sky, which has gone basically dark. 
“Should we go sleep?”
“Oh, we don’t have to. We can keep talking if you want.”
“No no, I’m tired too. Plus, we have a long day tomorrow doing the trash and stuff.”
“Okay! As long as you’re okay with it. I don’t want to force you to do something just because I am.”
“You’re not. Don’t worry about it, Haze.” You hold out your arm, and she links it in yours. The two of you laugh and talk your whole way back to the cabin. She sees PJ and Josie looking at her with teasing looks, lips puckered up. She quickly turns her head away to see you curled up on the corner of the bed, book in hand. It’s an astronomy book about constellations and the stories behind them.
Hazel looks at you as she climbs into bed.
“Whatcha reading?”
“Oh, just a book about the stories between different constellations.”
“OH! We didn’t get to look at the stars like we said.”
“Whatever. We’re both tired, and I’m sure we’ll have even more fun tomorrow doing so. I bet since we’ll spend the whole day together, we’re going to have a great time.”
“Don’t let me forget tomorrow. I’ll feel horrible if you don’t get to look at the stars at least once before the trip is over.”
“Don’t worry Haze, I won’t.” Hazel’s cheeks turn pink at the nickname, but she brushes it off and lies down. PJ and Josie ask everyone if it’s okay to turn off the lights, making you close your book and lie down as well. You assume that Brittany and Isabel are off with the other cheerleaders and that they’ll come back soon. You feel Hazel shudder when the lights turn off in the cabin.
“Hey, Haze, what’s wrong?” you whisper, turning to her under the covers.
“Nothing. Um, it’s just that I, um, kind of, always use a night light? I don’t like the pitch black.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I don’t know.” Hazel turns around to face you. Just then, your hands bump under the covers. You don’t know what overcomes you, but you decide to hold Hazel’s hand.
“Is that okay?” you ask. You hear Hazel’s breathing slow down to its relaxed pace.
“Yeah. Much better. Are YOU okay with that though?” she asks, concerned that maybe you would feel weird holding her hand.
“No, of course not. I want you to sleep well.” You two are facing each other in the bed, only barely able to see the traces of each other’s face.
“As long as you’re okay with it, I am too.”
“Goodnight Haze.” The two of you fall asleep facing each other, and holding hands, and wake up like that the next morning.
taglist: @at1nyzen
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reverie-obsessingtime · 4 months ago
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Why I think Sparkle is a maladaptive daydreamer coded character and who it plays part into her character as a whole: from a maladaptive daydreamer (and a character analysis)
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(Ok folks, this turned out rather long so get your popcorn and water at hands reach!.....trust me.)
Hi!!!! :,D This is my second post here and it feels like it's been a decade but here I am again haha...
This time I'm here with something I'm more confident in exploring as, I myself, am a maladaptive daydreamer! :,)
And because of that Sparkle hit me like a TRUCK and her MADD (mal. daydreamer for short) coding makes me love her and go insane about it at the same time.(it means a lot to me ok?😭)
Sooo I'm here today to expand and shine light on it to the rest of the masses as there isn't much appreciation for Sparkle (which is understandable cause she is a character not everyone can savor) and I feel like her maladaptive daydreaming can help understand her way of thinking.
comments, reblogs and likes are VERY much appreciated if you would like to see more of my billion cents and share with others to further show me support :,)
if you have any disagreements, corrections, different opinions or such that you would like to discuss I'm always open to further discussions as I would love to receive back engagement with these posts (as long as it is in good manners)
Enough talk from me though, let's get into it already:
What is maladaptive daydreaming?
Throw the google definitions out the window, let me give you a gist of it from someone who has it:
it's a coping mechanism turned addiction that can develop from loneliness or trauma (it is also common in people with ADHD). It helps you deal with the current reality you are in by offering escapism but it differs from normal daydreaming because it becomes maladaptive (as the name suggests).
What that looks like is being addicted to escaping reality through it by daydreaming, which can make you want to trade time forming human bonds, hanging out with friends, doing tasks you should, even taking care of yourself (etc.) with daydreaming. Most of the time you don't even need to do it but daydreaming is so much more fun and entering than ur current boring life that you keep doing it anyway. It can isolate you and make you lose touch with reality (from one degree to another depending on the individual).
But people with MADD DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN THEIR DAYDREAMS. They KNOW they aren't real. Some might willfully want to believe in them but at the end of the day they know it's all made up. If you are a MADD but get serious delusions about it you might want to check more into that cause something is overlapping.
Maladaptive daydreaming is MUCH more immersive and vivid than normal daydreams (what can I say, practice makes perfect🤭). Some MADD will stim while daydreaming in various ways that have to do with whatever they are daydreaming for enhanced immersion (some will pace around the room, some will make facial expressions, some will catch themselves talking, etc)
The daydreams each differ from individual to individual and can be classified in multiple types, some make OCs while others imagine a different version of themselves or make a character similar to certain degrees to them.
We are very much fictional-stories-makers nerds no matter to be honest
Now that we got the explanation out of the way:
Why do I think Sparkle has MADD?
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🎇Proof number one: her character story IV
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..... *POINTS AGGRESSIVELY* like?? COME ON!! (my "she is just like me fr!!!" moment and what made me want to make this whole post)
Ok, ok, let me try to be serious about this 😮‍💨
Analyzing this alone:
"It's truly addictive to me" maladaptive daydreaming is a behavior that is addictive to the individual (du uh)
"The more I imagine, the more I get absorbed in those characters" Getting absorbed into your daydreams (and it being addictive) is a core part of MADD and what differentiates it from normal daydreaming.
"the wonderful and tragic situations I create for them, and the emotions they experience in those circumstances..." Here, Sparkle is talking about the characters she makes and how by acting them and playing their roles and their stories, she enjoys herself and is entertained by them.
From my perspective, Sparkle is an individual who finds the emotions of others and how each reacts put in various situations, fascinating, entraining and enjoyable to witness, observe and ponder on more than an average individual.
Which I think is something all of us MADD, writers, OC makers, character analyzing enjoyers and fic writers can relate to ( "no"? ok. now tell me your OCs tragic backstory come on~ come on~ ik you have one. No? Ok then tell me through what psychological horror you want ur fav to go through~ Ik you know that you want them to get tortured by the writers at least just a tiny bit....I know what you are.)
🌸Further more quotes from her character story IV:
"Lies? Come on, I'm not trying to tell a grand story or fabricate an eye-catching experience... I'm wholeheartedly exercising my imagination for my own sake. I imagine various lives, seek excitement, and then recreate them as best I can, and pump the brakes on my imaginative balloon just a second before it bursts."
.... genuinely what do you want me to say honestly, that's SUCH a MADD to say, pls reread how many times it takes to get it. Everything in that is just PEAK maladaptive daydreamingness. Genuinely I don't have anything to add that won't sound like "Water is H2O and 2+2=4" 🤷
"Seriously, having a script is far from enough. First and foremost, I must wholeheartedly believe that the character I'm portraying truly exists. Then, I need to imagine the other stories where the character would appear. I always need extra information to make their motivation logical and emotional."
Sparkle seems dedicated to portraying, grasping and understanding her characters by IMMERSING herself into them as much as possible. Going the EXTRA mile, such as imagining other stories they could appear in, making herself believe the character TRULY exists and informing herself about them to portray them the best.
Which, again, all writers, OC makers and fic writers who actually give more than two dice about their character can relate to as we want our characters to be most accurate and well written and for that we do all Sparkle said.
The "I must wholeheartedly believe that the character I'm portraying truly exists" strikes a chord in me because it's such a ??? NON MADD ARE NOT THAT DEDICATED TO IT JSJSKSJ THAT'S SUCH A MADD MILDLY CONCERNING BUT MADD THING TO SAY SKDHSKSN IK WHAT YOU ARE!!!
OK OK.
I can hear you going "but she is an actor, it's just part of being an actor". Ok Sherlock, but Sparkle is not your average actor. Case and point:
Sparkles love for the stage of acting and how it ties into her MADD:
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🎇Who is Sparkle an actor for?
Herself.
Saying "she is so matriculated and dedicated because she is an actor" is only half way true.
Sparkle's love for acting and her maladaptive daydreaming are things that can coexist at the same time. (just like being a writer and MADD for ex. (yes, some of ur fav writers could have been MADD))
Which got born from which? We don't know but both are proof of how much she loves the other.
("But you said MADD develops from trauma or loneliness" YES!! And we still have no real idea about Sparkles backstory but ik damn well a "normal" person with an average fine life doesn't end up like Sparkle.)
(Also no, her character stories 1,2,3 and be at most half trusted as she says she makes them up for each individual both in her char. story 4 and a voice line.
They could either be total nonsense or parts and truths of her past but altered/heavily exaggerated and metaphorical. Pick ur fighter tbh.
"There are a few versions that are particularly popular." "Liking and believing are two different things, but people are more likely to believe in their favorite stories." "Lies? Come on, I'm not trying to tell a grand story or fabricate an eye-catching experience... I'm wholeheartedly exercising my imagination for my own sake."
She is basically toying with everyone who asks including the player for her own amusement and, honestly? Iconic.)
🌸She acts for her own entertainment.
Wealth, status, power... None of this matters to Sparkle. The only thing that can lure her interest is "amusement". (from her twt intro)
Her doing all this. Immersing herself into characters so deeply. It's all for herself and her own enjoyment. Just like MADD is for us and our own enjoyment and entertainment.
Not to be the greatest actor or for others recognizing her. In her introduction on twitter, she says: "I'm not exactly a person loaded with cool skills, and dreaming big isn't really my thing." Which says enough to contradict such ideas.
Yes, some MADD might go on to become writers or actors but some don't. And those who don't could still want to improve their characters FOR THEMSELVES because that will bring them more enjoyment, because they love what they do and their characters for one reason or other and want them to shine like they see them could.
🌸Sparkles elation is acting and MADD.
Elation: great happiness and exhilaration.
What makes her feel elation? Acting. What is her heavy immersive acting that is all for herself to feel elation intertwined with? Maladaptive daydreaming ✨
(wow, shocked, ik)
Sparkles Myriad Celestial Trailer: Behind the Curtain
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Next, I want to talk about both her Myriad and Character Trailer through a MADD lens, starting off with her Myriad Celestial Trailer:
What struck a chord in me with it is her "conversation" with her mask. What is her mask really representing for her? The way I see it: it's her MADD and also, Sparkle.
At first she says it keeps on smiling even when she doesn't and that she can hide under it. While in reality we might not be able to smile all the time. Escaping into our daydreams through characters who can helps. The use of a veil to describe it can also be interpreted as choosing to hide your true emotions from yourself and others through emulating a characters happy emotions and state of mind.
Second, she says the mask imitates her face, her emotions, like a mirror showing her own reflection. When writers come up with characters, some might be similar to them through a degree with or without the creator even realizing. This can happen to MADD more since we are creating characters for ourselves and its a coping mechanism so emotions seep through unless we make a character/s that we want to share with others. It's also a way you can understand and grasp yourself better. In this particular setting, I think she means how through some characters she acted as (made by others) herself and emotions shines true,like that character and her acting were a mirror.
Third, it takes a darker turn, "when I'm smiling, you're screaming. When I'm angry, you're crying. When I'm sad, you're smiling". This could be her MADD taking a tool on her.
"When I'm smiling, you're screaming" like when you are content with reality but your addiction's screaming at you to be noticed, like an icky who wants to be scratched. The urge to do it despite not needing to.
"When I'm angry, you're crying" This is her "mask" empathizing with her, weeping for her anger and understanding it like no one else could.
"When I'm sad, you're smiling" this could be the situation from the first instance, but it takes a darker turn so I think the "mask" smiles because it knows that her sadness assures its existence.
Addiction is dependent on your sadness because you do it to comfort you through that sadness. Her acting and MADD is both her addiction and her elation.
From Sparkles tone, she might even be surprised at how, despite her deep sadness, the mask can still smile.
"You're like a face, steering at me" she says at the end. It brings back in mind the imagery of a mirror/reflection. But instead of a reflection, it's a different reflection, still a reflection, but not.
It reminds of when I see characters being depicted as steering into a mirror and they are smiling but their reflection reflects how they truly feel inside (emo ik)
I think that's what it's supposed to mean. Your true self steering at you, it's uncomfortable and penetrating.
Or maybe it's a blank face being unsurprised or just lacking any emotions or maybe the face itself is empty waiting to be drawn on an expression.
It's a very vague sentence, and I don't want to pretend like I 100% understand the meaning behind it, because it can be interpreted in very different ways and only an explanation by the one who said it can give us a sure answer. Maybe it's something we can't even understand with the info we currently have on her.
Overall, she holds positive feelings about her mask but she also recognizes it's kinda fcked up but she still chooses it at the end of the day for the elation it gives ("I am elation" ok girl.)
🌸In this section, I also want to come back to her:
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Oh who is she?🎶~
Actually? Good question! :D
I think it was Sampo who commented that Sparkle's name is probably made up (which du uh)
But that is fascinating as well.
We see this girl at first in her trailer looking soft and innocent, nothing like the more.... eccentric person we know today.
If you look closely, she DOESN'T have the butterfly/flower(?) symbol in her eye at the start but she DOES at the end. Which to me represents how she and Sparkle were separate at the start.
"It doesn't matter how I am off stage.
When I'm on stage, I'm just Sparkle"
With the end of this video, this whole thing might be made up go, but that would be too pointless and annoyingly stupid so I'm inclined to believe she isn't fckin with us in this one. (for the most part)
That said, it seems like the girl Sparkle was before was performing for her love of acting, her madd, and for the audience.
But as time went on, doing all of this for an audience over and over lost its meaning (and probably drove her insane a little)
"When I realized that life was just a play, I wanted to leave the stage.
Because off stage, there is a even bigger stage"
Her acting, madd and elation shapes her way of seeing life and others. Why confine yourself to a stage when you can take yourself and your characters to the big stage of life itself and have fun with it the absolute bonkers way you want?
She is very much a Shakespeare truther, as he put it:
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts."
That's how her acting made Sparkle see things (to an extreme )
🌸Another thing is this scene:
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"Im.... I'm not Sparkle
No, I am Sparkle"
Both in her Myriad and Character Trailer, she is actively conflicting with herself.
In this moment. She shows opposition to "Sparkle". The physical constraint is interesting imagery as well. Maybe she feels trapped by "Sparkle"? Like "Sparkle" is against her? Why is she? Because she doesn't allow her to be Sparkle(/herself/her true self)?
She separates herself from Sparkle at the start but becomes her after and laments that she isn't her than at the end, and only then, her eyes have the same symbol this big eyes have in the back (Sparkles) eyes and she becomes Sparkle.
Which, um, IS SO INTERESTING!??!?!?!
I think at the end, she gives into her want to be Sparkle and fully embraces it. Fully embraces the path of elation.
And I don't think Sparkle isn't her. I think it's still her, just more free, unrestrained version of herself that doesn't hold back when the rest of society those.
Think like how different someone with social anxiety disorder is when they feel comfortable with summon and lets out their weirdness for example. We hold back on many actions because of societal perception but she stopped giving a fck and WILL set up a hundred "bombs" on a ship to fck with people for her own amusement.
Seeing life as a stage comes with seeing the absurdism of if all and choosing to stop giving a sht and have your own fun and entertainment. Play the roles you want to play instead of playing the part.
🌸As for my take on this part?
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Yeah, maybe the whole thing wasn't her true backstory, but I think it's not 100% false either. Or maybe it is and she sees it as her playing another role. The role of her past self how is so so different it's her own character at this point, right? :))
It sure was more realistic than all the other stories going on in the background (like come on, Harry Potter, Sparkle playing Herta)
"Who is the real Sparkle"
Maybe the answer is all of the Sparkles are Sparkle.
Am I gonna elaborate? Mmm, nope. :)
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*cracks knuckles* OOOOOKKK this turned out quite long Jesus (never put me to write something about a fictional character in a few paragraphs, that's physically impossible for me)
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Don't worry though, I'm probably gonna make a part two soon 🙃 (analyzing her Character Trailer, her design, her in game animations, who knows what ales, etc etc~) (no we are NOT done, we. are absolutely. NOT done.)
Soooo can you tell how much I like Sparkle? She lives rent free in my mind actually.
There isn't enough talk about her more deeply despite how MUCH there is to ponder on so I have to take it upon myself to do it 😮‍💨
If you made it here..... will you marry me?🥹💍
NAH NAH NAH JUST KIDDING 🤭
But if you did then thank you for giving me the time of day and I hope this post spark(l)ed some curiosity and interest into this little hedonistic gremlin! :D
(also no, I don't ignore, justify or support her racist remarks)
I do these posts mostly for myself but someone else to respond back is really nice! :,)
Ok, I'm signing off for this one. See ya in part two 👋:)
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alphajocklover · 6 months ago
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Hey bro, I have a bit of a strange situation going on. You see, I’m a big nerd, like playing dnd, good at math, into card games nerds. And I never really questioned it. But recently, I’ve found myself wanting to be more active, I’ve been wanting to become something I am not, a big strong guy. And it all stared when I rediscovered the Xmen through the show and upcoming movie. Could you, I mean, would you mind helping me become like my ideal man, Wolverine?
I want to be the small hunky and hairy beats he is, oozing with libido and sex appeal.
It's a little strange, but I’ve been getting a lot of superhero requests recently! Not that I’m complaining, I love writing about superheros. They’re interesting characters who have long histories and decades of lore to use. Plus they’re usually hot as fuck. And Wolverine is one of the hottest. Muscular, with a thick layer of hair, and gruff as can be. He’s traditionally a loner, but he has a certain rough charm to him. There’s a reason he’s been a part of almost every superhero team at one time or another. People can’t get enough of the guy. It could be his inventive power set, his ability to change with the times and still remain interesting and relevant. Or it could be that he’s an incredibly manly hunk whose animalistic nature makes people weak in the knees. He’s everything you ever wanted to be, or at least everything you’ve wanted to be since you saw those new X-Men cartoons. When you watched them, something awakened in you. And now… you’re becoming just like him.
You’re not becoming him, if that’s what you’re thinking. Whatever is happening to you can’t give you claws like Wolverine or coat your skeleton in adamantium. I mean, in our world adamantium doesn’t really exist, and even though some transformation methods could turn you into a perfect replica of wolverine or add onto the periodic table, this one won’t do that. It’s more fun to be a stud without the responsibility of being a superhero anyways, especially since one of his main powers is to survive incredibly painful situations. Now you get all the pleasure, none of the pain, and an absolutely studly body.
One common fun fact that people like to bring up about Wolverine is the fact that he’s… while he’s short. Really short. Since Hugh Jackman is over 6 feet tall, people tend to forget that in the comics Wolverine is a complete shortstack, standing at 5’3”. So, I’m afraid to say that you’re going to shrink quite a bit. Luckily, being shorter just makes your new muscles look even bigger and better. Your biceps are enormous, your pecs are amazing, and your abs are almost inhuman. That, plus a heavy layer of manly, thick hair, and you look like you walked right off the pages of a comic book. Or out of a very suggestive movie. Of course you don’t want to just look like Wolverine. You want to be like Wolverine. Which means a few… adjustments to your personality.
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That might seem daunting or scary at first, the idea that your personality is going to change. But you won’t feel that way very long. Nothing is going to faze you anymore. Just like Wolverine You’re tough as nails and you act like it. Literally nothing throws you. You’re a certified badass. Yes, you have a sensitive side like the real Wolverine, but most people aren’t gonna see that. Most people, from your manly new friends to the girls you hook up with, are going to see the manly man, the strong warrior, the beast.
There are some small differences between you and Wolverine of course. The main one being that the guy in the comics doesn’t hook up with people very often. Too busy saving the world. And when he does get a love interest, the feelings between them are pretty serious. You don’t have the same patterns. You’re the type of guy who has a new girl every night and is constantly looking for more pussy. You can’t help it, with a massive cock and an even bigger libido. You’re the best at what you do, and what you do is fuck.
**Hey guys! Hope I did Wolverine justice. He’s a super hot character and I had a lot of fun writing a tf inspired by him. Hope you enjoyed!**
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elvenbeard · 6 months ago
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OC INTERVIEW - VINCENT EZAKI
(I was tagged by @cybersteal and @arcandoria for this a long while ago, and got real carried away with this idea xD also inspired by everyone else who took the "interview" bit a bit more literally, so yes! :D thank y'all for the great ideas and being an inspiring af fandom!)
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Juanita Tseng: V, thank you so much for taking the time today, so happy to have you here! Let me ask, is that your full name?
V: Hah. Well, obviously not, but it’s served me well for many years now.
J: Any special story behind it?
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J: What’s not a secret is that most of our viewers only know you as “mystery man” so far, at least that’s how the scream sheets often choose to refer to you. How do you feel about that?
V: Well, nothing I could say against either. I like my privacy and I’m a man, so they got that right at least.
J: Hahaha, that’s fair! Even more so I’m glad we’re getting the opportunity to get to know you a bit better today. As I told you in advance, there’s some burning questions our viewers have, and everyone’s been eagerly submitting them already as we speak. So, without further ado, let’s get to the first one. When is your birthday?
V: It’s in June, but I’d like to leave it at that.
J: Interesting! Gemini or Cancer?
V: Whichever is the one that comes first.
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J: That’s fair! Alright, how tall are you?
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J: Who is taller?
V: Me of course.
J: Of course! Okay, next question… Ah! Let’s stay on the topic of Kerry for a moment longer. From my last interview with him we know you two met through a mutual friend.
V: That’s right.
J: How did it go? Was it love at first sight, or more of a slow burn?
V: Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him when we first met. But it wasn’t love at first sight, no, more… curiosity. We crossed paths a few more times, also thanks to that friend, and got to know each other better like that. We just clicked. That’s all there is to it really.
J: Awwww, that's so sweet! Now, it’s no secret that Kerry has led a quite adventurous life and there is a bit of an age gap separating you. So, I gotta ask:
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J: Only men?
V: Yup. And now the next question please, cause none of it matters.
J: Hahaha, sorry, I know I’m such a tease! But we gotta ask our viewer’s questions! Speaking of which, one of them is curious about your upbringing and cultural heritage!
V: Now that’s a 180° turn. Born and raised in and by Night City. Can’t say much about cultural heritage, as it’s a bit of a mix of many things.
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V: Mh-hm.
J: Let me see… would you be up for some quick shotgun-style questions?
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V: Ready when you are.
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J: Favourite season?
V: Anything that doesn’t involve sandstorms.
J: Favourite flower?
V: Lotus.
J: Favourite Scent?
V: Clean bedsheets.
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J: Average hours of sleep?
V: I aim to get at least 7.
J: Numer of Blankets you sleep with?
V: One or none.
J: Favourite Fictional Character?
V: Oh no, uuuhh… Hmm… No, I can’t just choose one.
J: Haha, that’s alright. Would you say you’re a bit of a nerd?
V: Oh yeah, unashamedly. Me getting started about my favorite fictional characters would be a whole interview on its own.
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J: Anyway, that’s right on cue, we’re almost out of time for today! I think we could fit one… no, two more questions!
V: Alright, let’s hear ‘em.
J: What would be your dream trip?
V: Hmmm… Kerry asked me to come along for his tour next year. I imagine that could be fun.
J: Oh, definitely! By the way, dear fans, don’t miss out on buying your tickets!
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V: Maybe.
J: It’s been really nice to have you here today, V!
V: Thanks again for the invite.
J: As you know, I like to end my show with a random fact, something fun I’ve heard about in the past week or something about myself! Would you like to share a random fact with the viewers today?
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V: I try.
J: Haha, well, I'm glad you found your way to my little studio, too! As I said, would love to have you over again anytime!
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########## a few minutes later ##########
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Thank you again for the tags! This was so much fun and really turned into its own thing beyond an OC ask meme XD I did this meme before with some slightly different and/or more in-depth answers for anyone curious [here] cause like stated back then, how Vince replies to personal questions always strongly depends on who's asking. And he might be more or less truthful about the information given or keep it all very surface-level instead, too.
For this lil story here the idea was obviously that the whole interview is basically just a promo thing for Kerry's upcoming tour xD So of course Vince is gonna support his bf if it helps boost ticket sales XDD A year earlier he might not have done it even then, because he was veeery reluctant about having their relationship be known beyond telling their closest friends. But here at this point some time in mid-to-late 2078, he'd feel secure enough with his life, their ilfe really, that he wouldn't mind being seen in the public together like this and also "outing" himself like that in front of a larger audience, for lack of a better word. It's the character growth and support of each other and a love language and everything \o/
Also: not sure who to tag at this point cause I think most of you already did this, but if you're reading this and havent answered all of Juanita's questions for your OC yet, consider yourself tagged!
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